We are all born unique in this world but what makes us common is our constant struggle to fit into the society which is always looking for excuses to not accept us. What we hardly understand is the fact that in the midst of constantly trying to differentiate ourselves from others we somewhere lose our originality which actually differentiated us from them in the first place.It is commonly observed that we mostly fear anything that we cannot fully understand and that's how things around us work, when the society fails to understand our uniqueness we are termed as being useless or simply an idiot.
The theory of life until now has been quite complex to understand, when we look around we see a massive amount of inequality, poverty, unhappiness, malevolence etc. But still an average human being somehow always finds a thing or a moment which would make him happy at least for a little while. We all try and look for some sort of inspiration or motivation to help us carry on with the arduous task of living. Agreeing to the fact that life can be lonely sometimes, when this period of loneliness gets extended a human enters an emotional phase called depression. We all would agree to the fact that at some point of time we all have felt weak, felt those chills down the spine where the only logical step that we think should be taken is the most illogical one. Some might say that "suicide" is a cowardly act, I was always a part of that group. I kept on asking myself or asked my god as to how can someone be so stupid as to not only kill themselves but also put their family members into misery. I thought people who had suicidal tendencies always deserved public ignominy.
It was 20th of May, an unusual Monday morning ,Class 12th board results were to be declared which is considered to be a big day in a student's life. I like everybody else was excited and nervous at the same time. I was pretty sure that I'll get marks above 95% so that I can easily get an admission into the best colleges of Delhi University. My parents had full faith in me because I was a sort of a topper. But sadly when the results were announced I realized that I had scored extremely good in 4 out of 5 subjects that I had. But you may call it luck or destiny that the only subject in which I couldn't score well turned out to be English which is the most important subject from the point of view of getting admission into DU. I realized as soon as I checked my results that I would not be able to get an admission into north campus. Instantly the thought of what people would think about me or how well my friends had scored came into my mind. Upon checking the results of all my friends I realized that all of them had scored well and were destined to go to the best colleges. Even though I had never thought I would feel it but for the first time in my life I felt jealous about something. I felt jealous that my friends would have a better college to go, a better career and maybe a better life. No matter how hard I tried I could not get over my failure of not being able to go to the college of my dreams. What added to the misery was the constant phone calls of relatives and friends who either called to enquire about my result or just to tell me that how well they had scored. It was the time that I felt IT for the first time. The sense of failure got the best of me, I decided that I should probably commit suicide rather than going to some other college. I finally decided to take sleeping pills and finish it for once and for all. But for some reason I postponed it for a week. It was during this week that I went through everything a person who is on the verge of committing suicide would go through. It was during this week that I realized that life always gives you answers to your questions it might just be in a different language. It was during that week that I found my moment of happiness.
I was sitting in my college canteen having a cup of coffee when I first noticed Raman. He was eating his samosa, bad sadly could not dip it into the chutney lying just besides the plate. Raman is Blind. He had that aura that could attract people to go and talk to him and so I decided to go and talk to him. While talking to me he told me that he had scored 80% marks which was enough to get him into a college of his choice. But still he ended up in my college which is not considered to be very good. He told me that it was a struggle for him to even come to our college which was a 3 minute walk from his house. It was nearly impossible for him to travel such long distance every day. "I anyways think, it's not in the college but in the ability and curiosity of a person that decides his probability to succeed", he said. It was amazing to see how a person with a disability made perfect sense when it came to talking. His determination to succeed made me feel ashamed of myself. I came back home looked myself in the mirror and thought how can I give up when he doesn't?
I would like to question the concept of society now, I believe that the society has been created so that a person can communicate with people around him and learn new things. A person can communicate with people so that he does not get into depression. But is the society playing its part? If yes then why are so many students in India committing suicide? If the society is doing its job perfectly then why have we failed to be tolerant towards heterodoxical views. We have amazing success stories of eminent personalities like Narendra Modi, A.P.J Abdul Kalam, who started from humble a beginning and went on to create history. Maitreyi once asked her husband "what do I have to with anything that does not make me immortal?", this question is the most relevant question I could ever come across. Today, We are all trying to be immortals our constant struggles in life are all because we want to be remembered when we die. But Is our being immortal based upon the kind of college we go to or the type of clothes that we wear? or is it just based upon the type of personality that we are able to develop? Is the question that we shall ask.
-Rtr.Anurag Mishra
Vice President, Rotaract Club of Delhi Janak
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